A method for therapists · Used inside longer work
The Identity Update™
The Identity Update is a method for one moment in longer treatment: the client's life has changed, and their sense of who they are hasn't caught up. It isn't a first appointment, and it isn't something to book on its own.
When it comes up
You'll know these clients. The outside of life has moved on. The self-image hasn't.
The mirror hasn't caught up
The body has changed, the relationship has changed, or the danger has passed, and they're still living as the person who had to manage the old version.
The promotion, and the fraud feeling
The job, the recovery, or the better sex life is real. They still feel like they're about to be found out as the person it was failing.
Still scanning the room
The difficult stretch is over, and the nervous system hasn't had the memo. They're braced for a problem that isn't in the room anymore.
Those are examples, not a menu. If you're a client reading this, you don't book it as a package. It turns up inside ordinary sessions, when we get to that point, at the usual fee.
Three pieces of work, inside the treatment you're already doing
Locate it. Update it. Lock it in. Not a first session, and not something to sell in week one.
Locate
Find where it got stuck
Find where the old self-image got stuck, and put the new one into the client's own words. If it isn't in their language, it won't be theirs.
In their wordsUpdate
Revisit where the old story started
Use hypnotherapy to go back to where the old story took hold, and give the client something to use the moment it kicks in again.
The shiftLock in
Rehearse what's ahead
Review how it's going, strengthen what's working, and rehearse the situations that used to pull the old story back online.
So it staysBetween sessions
One simple practice, about ten minutes a day. It's the part that helps the update stick.
100 times a day, for 7 days
The client repeats their new statement 100 times a day for 7 days. About ten minutes. Therapists give clients a code for the app. It isn't something to buy or book. See 100×7.
How I use it
I use it in my own sex and relationship sessions when a client gets to that stage. It's part of ordinary sessions, with no separate fee. If the sex has improved and they still feel like the person it was failing, this is often the moment.
Therapists learn it. Clients meet it in the work.
If you'd like to learn it
Get in touch. I teach it to therapists. There isn't a course date or a checkout on this page.
For clientsIf you want to book sessions
Book ordinary sessions for sex and relationships. If this method is useful later, it happens inside that work. There is no separate package.
Between sessionsAlready have a code?
The 100×7 practice is for clients a therapist has already set up. If you have a code, you can open the app from that page.
It isn't a product you add on at the end.
I developed this over years of clinical work, for the moment when the practical problem has shifted and the person hasn't caught up with their own life yet. In my practice that often shows up in sex and relationship work. Other therapists meet it in anxiety, confidence, and life change too.
If you're a therapist and you'd like to learn how to use it inside the treatment you're already doing, get in touch. If you're looking for therapy yourself, start with sex and relationships or booking and prices.
A note if you landed here as a client
You don't need to understand this method before we start. Most people never ask for it by name. We do the work in front of us, and if we reach the point where your life has changed and your sense of yourself hasn't, this is one of the ways I work with that.
There is no separate price. Sessions are £80, or four for £280, the same as the rest of the practice.
If you're a therapist, the useful question is whether you already have clients stuck between the life they've built and the identity they're still carrying. If you do, this is built for that gap.
I also offer clinical supervision, which is a different conversation.
The life has changed. The self-image is the bit that hasn't had the news.